Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
