Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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