I'm drive I can fine osifer
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
