Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
