the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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