She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
