This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
