I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
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did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
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I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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