Dual....:-)
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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