Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
should my penis look like a turkey
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
