My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize