How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
