Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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