i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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