...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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