Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
