tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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