Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
