He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
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She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
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Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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