either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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