Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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