My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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