i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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