We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
