RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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