You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
