our cab driver is having phone sex.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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