the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize