i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
