he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
