If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
My vagina just clenched in fear
that is very illegal...i love you.
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