If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
soo... how was my night?
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