Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I can text with my tongue
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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