shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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