omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
