Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize