Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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