that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
