I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
