Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
