I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
