But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
her vagine was all disorganized.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
