the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
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I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
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Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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