So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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