someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
