Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
She told me I should be a condom model.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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