My first STD was from a foam party
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
He kissed a someone with a penis
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Randomize
