Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
so let's talk penis.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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