I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I would ride that face into the sunset
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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