McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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