It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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