Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize