addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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