If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
