she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
