U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
