Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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