..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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