I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize