I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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