I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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