he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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