He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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