I want you more than these girls want KFC
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
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I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
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They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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