Redeem this text for a blowjob
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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