just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize