thus making me awesome and them whores
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
