I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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