So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
her vagine was all disorganized.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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