I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize